Good evening everyone. I must begin by saying how dreadful I've been feeling the past two days. Spring break has ended, to my utter dismay, and there is an unspecified void within me. Perhaps because I didn't watch every movie I had in mind of watching during the break? The damage was augmented when I returned to "work" today to discover that I had not completed my assignments correctly. Have I made a note of what a stiffly-stifferson my boss is? Therefore, in addition to my weekly load, I had to adjust my work that was due today, which irritated my awful allergies and induced aches in my skull. Quite a day I've been having, isn't it? What makes it worse is that I'm thinking what happened wasn't all that terrible, which causes me to feel like an intolerable child who thinks the world ends whenever they don't get their way. Believe me when I say I am striving to be as far away from that person as possible. (I'm not referring to anyone in particular, in case the italics threw you off.) Without further ado, allow me to describe my ideal spring break, which I will refer to as a "holiday" because the term "spring break" suggests the clichéd drinking and partying that I was not a part of.
(This was written on Monday.)
This wonderful holiday did not truly commence until Sunday, the third day of spring break, when I ventured over to my dad's place. Rather than telling you exactly what I did, with such repetitive sentences as "And then we watched...", I will point out the highlights and singularly interesting events that occurred within these rapid seven days. Oh, how quickly they went by....
Sex and the City 2 - This may be more than the twentieth time I've seen this. It may be an illness, as I'm led to believe by certain symptoms, such as questioning myself the way Carrie does from time to time and even acting as idiotically as the four of them do. I'm ashamed to admit that I am infected with this horrid virus, and incredulously pleased to say I'm infinitely glad to have such a movie as this. I've said this before, and I'll repeat it now: This movie is a work of utter ingenuity.
I Love You Phillip Morris - Jim Carrey plays Steven Russell, a good 'ol boy from the South who is happily married and a proud member of the police squad. After a car accident, he decides to leave his traditionally blissful life and become a con man, later ending up in prison. Amusing premise, right? There's just one thing I forgot to mention: he's gay. Thus crushing what could have been a humorous film. Knowing the key element, I reluctantly started to watch it, since it is with Jim Carrey after all. Twenty minutes in, I simply could not bear to view the vile images that would be shamelessly flaunted on the screen. Abominable of me, you say? Well, it seems audiences agree, considering the mere two-million gross based on a thirteen-million budget. Ouch. Seriously, delicate manners aside, could you sit there and watch an actor whom you admire and respect commit such deeds as...thrusting? (Pardon my vulgar language.) I'm sorry, but it is rather unsettling to behold.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie - I thought it was worth mentioning that they are, indeed, engaged. No, seriously, they are. Then again, are they?
American Pie - The teenager movie: masturbation, drunken parties, best friend pacts, and, of course, prom.
Friday the Thirteenth - The day, not the movie. This may have been the best Friday the Thirteenth I've ever remembered having. We started the day by going shopping, a less-than thrilling task but nevertheless bearable. Then we picked up some Chinese food on a whim, which was deliciously fresh as it was relatively early in the day and well before lunch hour. For our film platter, we has Star Wars: Attack of the Clones (followed by a short nap, Six Degrees of Separation, and Twins. Lovely, simply lovely.
Star Wars marathon - Epic. What else can one expect from such an iconic saga?
Midnight in Paris - Once again, an absolute delight. A perfect ending to a perfect holiday.
Behold, my wonderful spring holiday. I know there were a few sentence-long descriptions for some movies, culturally significant ones too, but never fear for I shall elaborate more another time. Now, my stomach is begging for sustenance and I'm afraid of my mother when it comes to eating. Farewell!
Here is my film scorecard for the holiday:
Night at the Roxbury
Adventures of Tintin
Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
Sex and the City 2
Star Wars Episode V: Empire Strikes Back
Sinbad and the Golden Voyage
How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days
Just My Luck
Not Another Teen Movie
Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (100th Movie!)
X-Men: First Class
Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
Six Degrees of Separation
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
American Pie 2
Midnight in Paris