Saturday, May 3, 2014

Ted Bundy: Monster of the Century

I'd like to start off by saying: Yes, I am back. Granted, this may be an isolated post, as I am still as busy as I have been for the past several months. Busy with what, I'll let you wonder. I still aspire to become a forensic psychologist/psychiatrist (whichever comes easier to achieve), so writing film reviews is merely a waste of my talent--I just choked on those words! How dare I say writing about film is a waste! And what nerve I have to call my writing ability a "talent". How utterly vain of me. Didn't you miss me?

The purpose of this post is to share an insight. This might be an idea scattered across Internet forums from eclectic, unknown sources, but I figured I should join in the crowd, if there is indeed a crowd to follow. In my typical weekend occupation of studying crime and notorious killers, I found a documentary about Ted Bundy on YouTube called "Serial Killer ~ Ted Bundy (Documentary)". It is a very interesting video, though not thoroughly thorough. The one impression it left with me--so far, at least, for I am watching it as I type--was who Ted Bundy resembled. Not only did he resemble a certain someone, I see an uncanny look-a-like actor. This implies an opportunity to make a real Hollywood film about the most infamous serial killer in American history, since the actor in question is very much prevalent and at the ripe age to portray Ted Bundy. Enough beating around the bush…

Ted Bundy

Michael Fassbender

Need I say more? Of course, I may have exaggerated when I said "uncanny", as I tend to do, but this is still a pretty good resemblance. Rarely do actors look exactly like another person. (See: Jim Morrison and Val Kilmer; Lee Harvey Oswald and Gary Oldman.) Because Bundy often changed his appearance on various whims, Michael Fassbender could have fun as a chameleon in this role, which helps him pull off the look-a-like scale all the more. Aside from the resemblance, Michael Fassbender can, for lack of a better phrase, play the shit out of this role. Actually, there is a more appropriate way of arranging that statement: Michael Fassbender can give a remarkable performance as the sadistic psychopath. He would extend upon his performance in 12 Years a Slave, most definitely, because he would, hopefully, be directed by a more adept filmmaker. (Steve McQueen is no such filmmaker. Dreadful.) There are plenty of fine directors out there who could make a phenomenal biopic about Ted Bundy, one that is not straight-to-DVD (i.e., watched by no one) but one that is released internationally in theaters.

Ted Bundy is an individual whose story, originally, shocked the nation; however, the story only reaches those interested enough to browse Wikipedia for pertinent information, such as myself and other freaks out there. If you don't already know, Ted Bundy was a serial killer who terrified the Pacific Northwest in the late 1970s and 1980s. His victims were young women and even young girls. His youngest known victims were each twelve years old, one of which, named Kimberly Leach, is the one that sentenced him to death in 1980. In 1978, he was sentenced to death, also, for the brutal murders of two Florida college students. Three death sentences! He finally died by electric chair on January 24, 1989--an astonishing ten years later. I say "astonishing" because such a horrific monster should be killed on the spot. Such people, if you can call them that, do not deserve lifetime rehabilitation because they are unable to be mentally reformed. Nevertheless, he was indeed executed, albeit much later than wanted. Beyond the twenty identified victims, Bundy is suspected of murdering countless other women. Also, he has claimed that after burying his victims in scattered wooded spots, he would visit their corpses and perform sexual acts on the decomposing bodies. If that isn't incentive for the sick freaks of Hollywood to make a profit on the public's equally sick obsession of crimes, I don't know what is. This picture depicting America's most lurid serial killer has to be made. Period.

As I said, this post might be one of very few in the year. We are nearly halfway into 2014, and this is my first post since August of last year. Shoot, I sure made those who actually read this wait a heck of a long time, huh? In case you were wondering just how I am doing, I'd say fantastic. I committed to a university a couple of weeks ago, and given the fact that Ted Bundy murdered many college girls, I'll keep quiet on where I'll be going. Just in case. What I will say is that I was given a full ride there, as well as accepted into the Honors program that will send me studying abroad for free also. Boom. In recent news, I was given a black eye two days ago during an unnecessarily violent game of Frisbee. As I was reaching to catch the flying disc of doom, a player on the opposing team whacked it away from me, ricocheting into my eye somehow. It hurt, to say the least, and now people ask what my boyfriend did to me. Only thing is, I don't have a boyfriend, so the joke is on them! I'm so lonely. Prom is less than a month away, and I have my dress from Macy's and, again, no date. Not an invitation by the way.

For the time being, farewell. I hope to frequent this blog of mine more often! So long!

For your consideration...



Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Psychopathy: A New Ambition

Greetings and salutations. Yes, my writing frequency has dreadfully declined to a major low. Logging into my Google account, I saw the viewership line-graph go from high to low. That was not easy to see, but I am not too bothered by it. Please do not consider this my retirement--boy, shouldn't have opened with that--but as a disclosure of my new calling. Rather than becoming a film critic as previously planned, I have a new career path in mind: criminal psychology. Compelling change of pace, I realize that, but it is something that I am undoubtedly passionate about. I came upon this stunning revelation after watching one of the most renowned films of all-time The Silence of the Lambs. Shocking that I am watching it for the first time, isn't it? Well, I've been told by my dad that it did not live up to the hype. While he was partially correct, in that it certainly does not live up to the hype, the film did push me towards accepting my fate in the world, as well as helping me settle on a major for college. For old times sakes, I think I'll critique the lauded picture.

The Silence of the Lambs, as many are already aware, has been deemed the greatest suspense of all time, trumping such marvelous films as The Shining and a little unknown gem called Running Scared, starring Paul Walker and Vera Farmiga. (Seriously, look that baby up. Yeah, baby.) It has won numerous accolades, including Best Picture (stealing from Bugsy) and Best Actor for Anthony Hopkins (again, stealing from Warren Beatty for Bugsy). The film holds the prestigious honor for the top villain in film by the American Film Institute, the recipient being Anthony Hopkins for his mediocre portrayal of Dr. Hannibal Lecter. More on that later. The film itself was nothing extraordinary, in today's terms at least. Considering the time in which it was released, I suppose that it was pretty ground-breaking, since the last major thriller to get Oscar prestige was The Exorcist. Gag. Other thrillers of that geeky 1970s era include Jaws (another Oscar nominee), The Omen (which does have a truly frightening premise, I'll admit), Carrie, and Halloween. Beyond that, more of these gory, sensationalistic "slasher fests" terrified audiences with their red-paint blood and creepy mascots of fear, such as Michael Myers and Leatherface. These were, in no way, truly haunting, for they did not really leave a mark on the minds of viewers. The only Master of Horror prior to 1991 was Sir Alfred Hitchcock, but even his films have an element of fantasy that viewers realize and therefore do not dread. (Aside from Psycho, the absolute top film on AFI's 100 Years...100 Thrills list. That shower scene....) Indeed, until the release of The Silence of the Lambs, ordinary moviegoers did not shiver in genuine fear as they beheld the silver screen.
The film introduced a new brand of villainy and suspense to the world, that of the psyches of serial killers. Ah, the serial killer. Here is where my newfound path begins. I am absolutely mesmerized by these ghoulish fiends to humanity and to society. Criminals who take pleasure in mutilating their victims; who prey on innocent people that are just living through their day-to-day routines; and those who show no remorse for their awful deeds. It's a chilling, twisted experience to read about these people on Wikipedia, every detail of their spree engaging me more and more into this field of the human psyche. Hence, psychology. Hence, my desire to pursue this interest in the form of a career and a way to make money. Ka-ching, if you know what I mean. Anyway, the serial killer is the most sadistic, horrifying villains to be depicted on the screen, in my opinion, and when I heard that Hannibal Lecter was the villain of that sort, well, I became intrigued. Aroused, even. (Not really. That would be weird.)

Hannibal "The Cannibal" Lecter. Renowned doctor of psychiatry and intellectual extraordinaire. He induces fear and uncomfortable ecstasy into those who stimulates him. Uncomfortable ecstasy is my way of describing the inherent interest in the serial killer; that strange curiosity into their manner that is challenged when being in their presence. Sure, I find Charles Manson interesting, but I wouldn't be too keen on sitting in front of him, even if there is glass between us. (He is currently serving a life sentence in California State Prison in Corcoran, if you want to visit him.) Interviewing serial killers is not a breezy feat--that is, a feat you can breeze through without mental and emotional difficulty--though Special Agent Clarice Starling seems up to the challenge.
Portrayed by Jodie Foster, an actress I've come to respect on account of her sweet devotion to Mel Gibson who is a great actor despite ongoing denunciations, Clarice Starling is the typical "woman in a man's world", that world being the dangerous one of crime and the FBI. Female body inspector? Get out of town, that's outrageous. As a suspected member of the homosexual community, Jodie Foster applies a serious, sex-less demeanor to the role quite well, remaining completely professional in every instance of her investigation. Unlike most feministic characters, I am not annoyed by Clarice, in fact I am inspired by her. (New career path? She's my role model.) Her performance is one of solemn competence, giving off the persona of a federal agent, with a disturbing agenda, determined to uncover every aspect of every detail to catch her criminal. The criminal, as I once thought, is not Hannibal Lecter. He is already apprehended, interestingly enough, and he is the subject of Clarice's research into the actual killer-at-large. His name is Jame "Buffalo Bill" Gumb. And he is truly terrifying. Back to the "real" villain here, Hannibal Lecter did not appear as perverse and demented as I had expected. Eating people, albeit demented, is not as gruesome as, say, skinning people and wearing them, which is what--spoiler alert--Buffalo Bill does.
As for the personality and behavior of Hannibal Lecter, all I can say for flattery is that Anthony Hopkins did a good job. That isn't much flattery, mind you. Sure, he pulls off that creepy vibe honed by serial killers of his breed, but to be named the greatest cinematic villain and receive immense praise is uncalled for. I found Warren Beatty's insane portrayal of Bugsy far more compelling. Also, relating to the Oscars, Anthony Hopkins received the statuette for a mere [blank] minutes in the movie--a disappointing, in terms of expectations, few minutes. If anything, he should have been Best Supporting. There should be a rule for what constitutes a leading role and supporting role, like a time limit. Why is there no such rule? I'd also like to mention that, while Anthony Hopkins's performance may have been captivating and brilliant twenty years ago, it no longer has that impressive gleam to it now; Warren Beatty's performance, however, remains the fantastic performance it was then. That, my dear, is the director's commitment to the audience: to make a film that endures throughout time, unaffected by changes in society or general viewpoints.

My, I am just jumping from one factor to another. As for the true villain of Silence of the Lambs, Buffalo Bill clearly surpasses the Cannibal in terms of psychosis and modus operandi. He is played by Ted Levine, who is singularly well-known for this role, and the relatively unknown actor is superb. Since I am so intrigued by the methods and executions of serial killers, I'll describe them. Like the infamous Ted Bundy, he pretends to be handicapped in order to lure his victims into his ominous van. These victims are, generally, overweight and female. Once he captures them, he imprisons them in his cavernous basement, trapped in a deep pit with negligible care. He keeps them there for several days before skinning them alive, which, obviously, kills them. His reason for murdering these overweight girls is to create a human-flesh body suit that he would wear, and, ultimately, to become a woman. Most serial killers suffer from severe mental disorders, so what Buffalo Bill clearly has a problem with is his identity, who he is. Unhappy with his male persona, he believes he can be happy as a woman. To carry out this mission to joy, he skins women with extra skin. In the film, he does actually fashion his flesh suit-in-progress, which is, truly, a scene to behold and abhor. That is the work of adept horror filmmaking. Not only does this disturb on a physical level, but on a psychological level as well. Ted Levine portrays Buffalo Bill flawlessly, emitting a certain redneck "charm" that is common among deeply troubled criminals and murderers. I consider him the true villain of the movie because of what he does, in reality, on the screen--rarely have I seen such twisted horror in a film. With Hannibal Lecter, on the other hand, what he does is only hinted at, for the most part. Of course, there is the scene where he attacks two guards, beginning his feast of flesh. Although it is startling, I find Buffalo Bill to be a tad more sadistic and more worthy of the acclaim. (Not even a Supporting nod? Come on, Academy.) Also, it seems that Hannibal Lecter chooses his victims based on their manners and etiquette. He kills only those who are openly rude and disrespectful, such as the prisoner who makes lewd gestures to his beloved Clarice. This judgement, as always, is a matter of opinion. Though I must admit that, when Hannibal hisses Clarice's name, I do get chills.

Unrealized triumph--a Best Actor, robbed.
Warren Beatty in Bugsy


Completely unrelated note: Anthony Hopkins once said, regarding Shirley MacLaine, that she is "the most obnoxious actress I've ever worked with". Interesting, yes?

As much of a success Silence of the Lambs was, it is only customary that there be a sequel, and perhaps even a prequel, to further explore the mind of Hannibal Lecter. In the sequel, Hannibal, Clarice and he meet again. Only this time, instead of Jodie Foster, it's Julianne Moore. Strange and disconcerting as it is, the film immediately lost some appeal. To change such an iconic character is very frustrating, especially to the many admirers of Silence of the Lambs. I wasn't that impressed by it, but even I found it difficult to watch Hannibal. The plot is not as engrossing as with Buffalo Bill, but it is, nevertheless, adequate. Hannibal Lecter, escaped from the confines of prison, is residing in Italy, where he continues to satisfy his appetite for human flesh, I assume. The main idea revolve around Mason Verger (played by an unrecognizable Gary Oldman) who once encountered Dr. Lecter, and, as a result, he no longer has a face. Hannibal forced him to cut off his face and feed it to his dogs. Allow me to reiterate: He cut off his own face and fed it to his dogs. Does this make Hannibal Lecter the greatest villain, you may ask? It does not because Mason Verger was a pedophile, which I consider to be one of the worst crimes to be guilty of. Therefore, Hannibal was doing justice, making him, not a villain, but some sort of anti-hero. Once again, Hannibal is trumped by a supporting maniac.

What's different in this film, in addition to everything else, is the relationship between Hannibal Lecter and Clarice Starling. While in Silence of the Lambs the two shared an eerie bond that formed out of each of their own mutual curiosities, Hannibal depicts them as being star-crossed lovers, in a way. It's as if Hannibal is actually in love with her, not sadistically, but affectionately so. They even share a kiss on screen. Eww. It was an unusual, and unwelcome, twist in the story, one that I was not fond of. Ray Liotta co-stars in the film--whatever happened to him?--as Clarice's colleague who "has 'it' in for her" but really looks down on her because she is a "woman in a man's world". I thought I should bring up his appearance in the film, for he is the center of one of the most gruesome, graphic displays I've ever seen on the screen. Warning for spoilers: Hannibal sedates him, allowing him to cut open his head and cook pieces of his brain. And feeds those cooked pieces to Ray Liotta himself. Even retelling this triggers acid reflux and head pains. The horror.


I prefer Silence of the Lambs, as many definitely do, because it is more subtle and tasteful when it comes to the macabre genre. Hannibal Lecter is more eloquent, refined, and sadistic there. Clarice Starling is Jodie Foster. Buffalo Bill is unquestionably superior to Mason Verger, as great a villain Gary Oldman is. And the entire films as a concept is more appealing to me in terms of psychology. Because of Silence of the Lambs, I have the motivation and desire to fulfill the possibility of becoming a criminal psychologist/psychiatrist.

I certainly hope I brightened your evenings with this post. Mine sure was. Even though I have a new ambition for the future, I will continue to write on this here blog. And although I seem to be writing only once or twice a month, I do enjoy it when I do. Write. With my final year in high school approaching, I only hope that I can write as often as I possibly can. College application time is stressful. I should have worked on that rather than share my plans with you, but it was refreshing to write about movies. I still watch several movies a week. When I'm not watching movies or planning for the future? Previously on Desperate Housewives....

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Late Night Lament

So, it is not exactly late in the night as the title suggests. I realize this. However, in addition to forming informal sentences that begin with coordinating conjunctions or show overall sketchy grammar, I will be acquainted with my bed in a matter of minutes. Maybe an hour. Before that, I'd like to share my inconceivably foolish sorrows. And some thoughts on various pieces of information floating through my mind.
First off, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? Amazing film. Please do yourself the pleasure of watching it from beginning to end. I would go into more detail, but, remember that bed? This will all be one massive paragraph, so don't expect convenient breaks where you can just stop reading the post if you find it dull. Then again, you are no mindless drone. Stop now, if that's what you want. But what do you really want in the end? Life, although there are numerous branches in its course, has one ultimate conclusion. I also watched Glengarry Glen Ross--another incredible film that I highly recommend--and, in it, Al Pacino lures his clientele in by discussing inconsequential miscellany to ease them into purchasing real estate. He is one cool cat, which is a simple way of expressing my admiration for what he did with Ricky Roma. This performance is the epitome of Al Pacino's career: sharp, intimidating yet charming, ruthlessly articulate, and persistent. Every character he portrays is persistent, whether he is thirsty for power as Michael Corleone or merely a blind colonel who wants to be recognized as Frank Slade. Hoo-ahh! He was nominated for Glengarry Glen Ross, as well as for when he played Frank Slade in Scent of a Woman. That same year, two nominations. Why didn't he win for Best Supporting Actor? The Academy is greedy and eager to please. Why give Al Pacino--an actor who proved his indubitable craft in the past and was outrageously ignored each and every time--two Oscars in one year? He'll be back for the Honorary one. Oh, will he? Another tremendous performance in Glengarry Glen Ross was Jack Lemmon as the tragic Shelley "The Machine" Levene. He wasn't even nominated, those Academy bastards. As "The Machine", Jack Lemmon practically crawled to attain the esteem he was once showered with in his prime; now, as an elderly salesman whose time has passed, his only victory is transient on account of shitty leads. These "leads" are people to whom the salespeople can sell their land to. I think. Knowing the in-depth specifics is unnecessary, unless you want to show off in front of your fellow audience members. Don't be a douche. Yes, that word has entered my vocabulary. Have to keep up with the times. The film is absolutely terrific. The entire ensemble deserves a statuette of recognition, really. (Nomination for Screen Actors Guild Award? No.)
Anyway, since it's getting late, I'll get to the personal disclosures. As you certainly are unaware, I've been under the scrutiny of my loved ones who have transferred their burden to healthcare professionals. This concerns my physical and mental well-being. In the past year, I have dove into some ghastly routines that involve obsessive-compulsive disorder and what some people call "anorexia nervosa". My doctor made that point pretty clear by repeating it every time I went to visit. If my loved ones are reading this, they might disapprove of me being so personal or find it unbelievable that I appear to be denying that I had the illness. Well, the truth is: Yes, I was sick. Probably still am, considering how depressed I feel after my last visit. Since the "intervention", I've gained eight pounds, as of yesterday. It's been about three months, and everyone is positively thrilled with my progress. Unfortunately, since, as I've admitted, I am sick, I don't see any reason for the glee. (Oh, do not get me started on Cory Monteith. His death is proliferating at a ridiculously pointless rate. He died of a drug overdose. Do not turn him into an admirable figure. Glee is awful.) When I read that scale, I felt my mind sending pessimistic signals to my heart and body, urging me to return to that frightening weight I saw three months ago. Perhaps by writing this all down and sharing with strangers, the plague that consumes my mind will evaporate somehow. Maybe not. Maybe I will always have this mental hindrance, preventing me from fully enjoying what this short life has to offer. It's not as if I will surrender to the plague and attend community college or join a rehab clinic, for I still have the ambitious plan to go to Georgetown University, but this illness will remain within my subconscious. While it helps me from becoming that chubby kid I used to be (even admitting that hurts my mind), it also as the ability to turn me into a premature corpse. As Ricky Roma says, our life is looking forward or it's looking back. What we do for the moment, for now, is up to us. All this waste of a mental illness--this fucking maniacal plague that pressures me into deciding how a fucking remote should be positioned on my fucking couch--it will endure until I die. Yes, I will die. That's the most terrifying fact and irony. You live your life just so you can approach the end that is death. And why continue on this journey of life in a manner that will bring me closer to the door? Why not indulge in the necessary nutrition I need? I hate regret, and I hate resistance. The physical labor is not at all difficult--I had to eat whatever I wanted to return to a healthy weight, and I'm not even there yet. I am still underweight for my height, remarkably, though I feel more bloated than I did three months ago, or even three weeks ago. I like the feeling of emptiness, but I like the taste of delicacies even more. (Saying that hurts my mind, but the truth will scare off the plague.) What is nearly impossible is the struggle with my mind. Mental incapabilities--this fucking obsessive-compulsive and self-deprecating mirror issues--are close to irrevocable. Irreparable, I should say. How I sit down in a chair. How I eat my meals, and when. How I walk to avoid cracks or carpets or just certain spots I think are pits into obesity. It all sound insane, and it is. Writing this down, I honestly feel some sort of spirit leaving my head. Maybe sharing does help. Or maybe it's a headache forming, warning me that it will never go away. I don't know. The future is out of my reach, and the past is well beyond my interference. What I do next, like now, is all I can determine. If everything happens for a reason, this illness must be some sort of life lesson that will propel me into a brighter future where I can deal with stress better or whatever. Life is a short gift that I want to spend with loved ones and with the knowledge and success I desire. And happiness is definitely something I'd be interested in, too.

Also, I watched Guy Ritche's ingenious and adrenaline-rushingly rapid-fire Snatch.
I'd like to express my deepest sympathies for the loss of a great actor who could swear with flair.
Since no one else seemed to be willing to give him a proper exaltation of his talent.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Happy Birthday Will Ferrell!

Hello hello! I welcome you all back after a three-week sabbatical, which actually warrants an excuse. A legitimate one too. For the past two weeks, I've been in Washington D.C., the nation's capital, on a leadership conference that I was nominated for. I won't get into an extensive tangent that would involve fawning over my own accomplishments and worth that granted me this grand opportunity. All I will say is that I had an amazing time and that it was definitely one of the most extraordinary experiences of my life thus far. During this time, I spent one-hundred-six (106) hours occupied with various intellectually-stimulating activities, such as visiting an array of historical sites and enriching myself as a "leader". While I still possess most of my insecurities and obsessive-compulsive curses, I am thrilled to say that I am slowly improving with the help of my newfound friends. The best part of this entire trip, interestingly enough, was the social aspect of it all. (This is surprising considering how immensely shy I am, and how I am unwilling to get to know other people.) I became acquainted with several incredible people--intuitive scholars such as myself--and we formed bonds that I do not share with some people I've known my entire life. It's flabbergasting just how close you can get with a group of people in such a short amount of time. When the final day dawned upon us, we sincerely shed tears for one another's departures. If they happen to be reading this post (because I shared my blog with them, obviously), we will reunite in the foreseeable future, hopefully before this summer comes to an end.

Anyway, onto the point, right? Today marks the forty-sixth year of Will Ferrell's existence. Introducing this man in a post is close in caliber to introducing Hollywood legends like Robert DeNiro or Jack Nicholson. Maybe not exact or identical, but certainly close. In terms of comedy, Will Ferrell is definitely a legend in this generation of ours. I believe he received a Lifetime Achievement Award for comedy recently. Sure, it wasn't an Oscar--and, let's face it, it's doubtful that he will ever be even nominated for one of those silly things--but I'd say he is much more famous and much more well-liked than, say, Forest Whitaker or Adrian Brody. And those two fools won Oscars. (I mention them because they stole the honor from two actors who deserved the honor more than an actors' performances could have ever been worthy of the Oscar. That complex sentence meaning Leonardo DiCaprio and Daniel Day-Lewis, respectively, were outrageously robbed.) There are countless films to praise in honor of Will Ferrell's birthday, including films he was involved in behind the camera and those films which resemble his type of comedy. The fact that he has a type of comedy truly signifies his indubitable value in this zany industry of cinema. Happy Birthday, Will Ferrell, you sexy devil.

Anchorman - I'm sure you are all familiar with what may be Will Ferrell's prized gem of a comedy. Taking place in the male-dominated newsroom of the seventies, Anchorman is a tale of the legend that is Ron Burgandy and his Channel 4 News Team. This dream team consists of Paul Rudd as the charismatic womanizer Brian Fantana; David Koechner as redneck drunk Champ Kind; and Steve Carell as the simply naïve moron Brick Tamland. They are truly the ideal comedic force, sharing incredible chemistry on-screen and playing off one another's strengths and humor. One of the best acting ensembles by far, and I am sure many of you would agree. Christina Applegate appears as Miss Veronica Corningstone, the co-anchor who puts the whole Channel 4 News Team in disarray, bringing forth the feminine revolution in the workplace and in the media. She is always a delight, both acting-wise and appearance-wise. She's adorable is what she is. The main attraction here, though, is Will Ferrell.
Ron Burgandy is probably his greatest achievement, for he has created one of the most hilarious characters in comedy of this century at the very least. His complete disregard for the actions of others supports his unbelievable ego from beginning to end; you can get his attention only if you begin by introducing himself to him and fawning over how great he is. You can really describe the genius of this character by quoting him, as there is no coherent way to do that. There are many, but I'll share just one that both describes him as a character and emphasizes Will Ferrell's comical skill: "I'm kind of a big deal." No supplemental exaggeration needed, I think. As one of the greatest comedies of the twenty-first century, it is completely rational for a sequel to be released. I know where I'll be December 20 this year: waiting for the legend to continue. (I don't do theaters.)

The Other Guys - This is definitely the funniest movie I have seen in a long time. I would say "one of the funniest movies of this century", but I already did that with Anchorman. What I will say may shock you: The Other Guys is the funniest movie of 2010. That isn't quite a grandiose compliment since it's only the funniest within a twelve-month period, but--it is incredibly funny. Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg play officers Allen Gamble and Terry Hoitz, respectively, and like most cop comedies, they are near opposites. But don't the most-used formulas work out the best because they have been proven to be the best and the most-used? Just saying. I'm smiling just thinking of what I could possibly say about this movie. I'm literally replaying it all in my head, and there is an endless list of what is so fantastic about this movie. Seriously, it is fantastic. But words are not convincing at all, are they? Unless it's criticism. For some reason having something bad to say is more interesting. Like Anchorman, only a quote can really emphasize the brilliance of this film, but in this special case, I will insert an entire scene of hilarity.

That's just one percent of this film's ingenuity. What makes this film work better than the average cop comedy is the remarkable chemistry between Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg. They are, unquestionably, the greatest comedic duo after Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau. (It's a different kind of connection, of course, but nevertheless just as endearing.) The two are absolutely relentless in the laugh department, bringing tears to my eyes for how funny they are together. And for Mark Wahlberg to be on the same comic level as Will Ferrell? Well, that just shows where he is more valuable, don't you think? (Case and point: Ted.) I really hope that they make another comedy together, perhaps a sequel to The Other Guys because, quite frankly, that would be fucking awesome. In addition to sheer hilarity, the movie provides a dark message about the corrupt world of finance that we are hopelessly trapped in. If you decide to watch this fine piece of comedy, sit through the credits, because there are some interesting yet disturbing facts concerning the nation's CEOs and the poor workforce. One more quote: "We should call ourselves the 'Febreze brothers' because it's feeling so fresh right now."

Stranger Than Fiction - Like many comedic actors, most memorably and successfully being Jim Carrey, Will Ferrell has delved into the genre of drama. (He, also, appeared in a Woody Allen picture called Melinda and Melinda. Worth checking out.) Although the Golden Globes calls this a Comedy/Musical, it is the most serious film he has done thus far. I mention the Golden Globes promptly because Will Ferrell was, yes, nominated for his role as Harold Crick, an IRS auditor (boo) who becomes the subject of an author's book, which affects how he lives and how he will die. It is a very interesting concept for a film, and was supported by a cast of talented actors, including Will Ferrell himself. He is definitely a curious choice for the movie, considering his most recent film at the time was Talladega Nights. Who would have thought that he could pull off such a darker role? And he did give an excellent performance without having to shout or curse or make a fool of himself. I do not mean to demean his status quo of acting, just to distinguish this serious role from his sillier ones. The film is, once again, very enjoyable and made even more so by the extensive craft of Will Ferrell.

Elf - One of the quintessential Christmas movies, I could not not mention this delightful film. And it was directed by Jon Favreau no less! He directed Iron Man, so you know this is a good one. Here, Will Ferrell gives his one and only performance as a sincere, kind-hearted, innocent human who has been raised as an elf. His name is Buddy and he wants to be your friend, even if you are kind of a dick. Uncalled for, apologies. Throughout this "flick", he parades around the foreign New York City in search for his real father, Walter Hobbs (played by James Caan), who turns out to be a resident on the Naughty List. Of course, since this is such a cute little holiday picture, Buddy helps his father to be Nice and they all live happily ever after. What separates this from other Christmas movies is the oddly colorful tone of it. Whether it is Buddy's green suit or Will Ferrell's genuine and animated performance, I don't know. All I know is that this is one of the sweeter, non-corny holiday films for the whole family to gather around and enjoy! I think that's on the DVD/Blu-ray box. I should be in marketing. Like the culinary preferences of Buddy the Elf, this film is syrupy sweet and a breath of fresh air, entertainment-wise.

Night at the Roxbury - This is where it all began. Thanks to the connections he made working at Saturday Night Live--where he, in addition to several other fine comedians, created the golden era of the variety sketch television show--he was allowed to show off his comedic ability in a way that is far less crass and complex than how we know him today. Here, he plays Steve Butabi who, along with his brother Doug (played by SNL alum Chris Kattan), is desperate to gain entry into the alluring nightclub, The Roxbury, and then open a club of their own. Insultingly simple premise as it may sound, the film provides hefty amounts of laughs and that appealing nineties quality that you can find only in this era. The nineteen-nineties. Duh. Now, I've seen this movie far more than twice, ranging from when I was a wee lass to now, so my judgment may be biased in respect of nostalgic reasons. However, trying to be objective here, I must say that this movie displays much of the hilarious antics one can expect in Saturday Night Live fare. If you're a fan of the dumb comedy, here is your golden goose. Or ticket. When I first watched this, I originally thought that Chris Kattan would rise to the top to where Will Ferrell now reigns as the king of comedy. His performance required much more talent, and indeed showed much more talent, while Will Ferrell only mimicked his on-screen brother in a simplified, bone-head demeanor. Clearly, the joke is on me, for Will Ferrell has certainly flourished into the funny, skilled actor that I have just about flattered enough until his next birthday.

Will Ferrell: Comedic Genius, indeed.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

The Art of Battle

What a rotten evening. Just moments ago, a dreadful storm erupted into my small town. It is pouring out there! I can't help but smile a bit, for a few hours earlier I declined an invitation to go to the Olive Garden with my mother and brother. Although they went without me anyway--to celebrate my upcoming trip to the nation's capital--I remain indoors, content and dry. As for that aforementioned trip: On Saturday, I leave for Washington D.C. to spend eleven days on campus at American University for a program called the National Student Leadership Conference. Very prestigious. There, I will be taking classes in professional news-writing as well as practicing journalistic skills for my future. It's a glorious opportunity, of course, and a stunning detail to add to the 'ol resume. As for this evening, I will provide you with three video clips (and very little reading, thank god) that demonstrate utter ingenuity of its kind. The following, as hinted at in the title, is a series of the greatest cinematic fight scenes. These are not the conventional sparks-and-fire fight scenes one would expect in such a list; I consider them the best solely because they are unorthodox. They are absolutely ingenious and, obviously, hilarious.

1. Ted

Now, let me start by saying that this is the funniest fucking movie of the entire fucking year. I think have jurisdiction in using profanity twice because it is, one, true, and, two, it makes up for the blatant snubbing at last year's awards shows. Seriously? Salmon Fishing in Yemen was better than Ted? It wasn't, and this fight alone can support that Ted is far superior to any candidate other than Silver Linings Playbook. What makes this fight so magnificent is how real it looks. Mark Wahlberg--the fantastic actor he is, who was also ignored--really looks like he is in pain as he battles his teddy bear. The visual effects here are just incredible, far more impressive than any other film of the action variety. And the laugh factor: 10 out of fucking 10.


2. Anchorman

This scene represents the overall hilarity of Anchorman. From beginning to end, it is completely flawless in both quality and, most importantly, timing. The fight sequence did not take too long, nor was it too outrageous to be considered valid in this list of the greatest fight scenes. While a man on fire, two horses, a triton, and the amount of artillery may be deemed "outrageous", it was just right. What is also emphasized here is the brilliance of an abundantly-casted crew: the comedic geniuses present here, as you have already seen, are unquestionable in status. The brief prelude before the battle was an excellent touch, providing several hilarious lines. ("Brick, where did you get a hand grenade?" "I don't know." Classic.) The whole fight, again, was excessive but in the finest way imaginable.


3. Pineapple Express

The first time I saw this fight, I could not control my laughter. I had to replay this scene several times to redeem myself and continue--that's how funny this is. While the fighting itself may be a bit played out, especially if you've already seen it, such as with the repetitive grabbing-and-throwing, the scene remains a great comedic feat. The highlight of this scene is definitely the moment when James Franco and Seth Rogen knock the bathroom door down, pushing Danny McBride into his sink and breaking it. Hilarious, albeit a tad exaggerated in length.