A Surprisingly Joyous Occasion

I'm talking about the Golden Globes here. Dumb ass. (Just kidding, you didn't know. Unless you did.) Anyway, instead of writing several paragraphs about the event, all jumbled together that will look unflattering to the reader's eye (your eye), I will do what I did with the Critics' Choice Awards: point by point. I'd just like to inform you before you read this that this was a cheerful evening. For the most part.

Ricky Gervais - I don't care what the majority of people say, I know this man is absolutely hilarious. The first time he hosted, it was a wonderful portion of the show. When he was asked to hot a second time, I was surprised and delighted, as he can be, shall we say, "taboo", objectively-speaking. Last year, he was denounced by critics everywhere, accused of being too "mean". I'd just like to say, that's a bit juvenile for the critics. After being asked a third time to host, especially after being attacked by critics, Ricky Gervais mocks the Hollywood Foreign Press Association for hiring him again. In his opening monologue, he cites a list they gave him explaining that he's not allowed to curse, talk about Mel Gibson, etc. It's like giving a baby a lighter, having them sear your eyebrows, then returning it to them only as long as they don't do it again. I thought it was a cute analogy. Now, let me say this again: I love Ricky Gervais. This year, however, I was a tad disappointed to see a lot less of him at the ceremony. And when he made an appearance, I'm sad to say his jokes were too Tom Hanks, that they were safe and cheesy-smiley. It was as if he was pleasing the Hollywood Foreign Press. That's the feeling I got anyway. One joke I would like to highlight: asking Johnny Depp if he had seen The Tourist yet.

Joey - Otherwise known as Matt LeBlanc, famous for his role in Friends as Joey Tribbiani. At this year's Golden Globes, the actor was nominated for Best Actor in a Comedy/Musical Television Series for a show called Episodes. I have watched the first season of the show, and am surprised to say I enjoyed the British, practically starless production, especially Matt LeBlanc, playing himself. What surprised me even more was that he actually won. It was a happy win, in a sort of nostalgic way since he was known for Friends which ended a while ago. Indeed, a pleasant surprise. How you doin'? That didn't fit at all.

Modern Family - Another triumph in the television category, the fantastic comedy hit finally won a Golden Globe for Best Comedy Series after three nominations. After losing to the freak/teen-magnet, Glee, the true winner received its award, at last. Seriously, Glee has been declining in recent years. Even at the beginning, it didn't hold a candle to Modern Family. But, finally, it has rightfully won its most-deserving award, as it is the Best Comedy we've seen in a while.

The Help - Really? Only one Globe? At least it was for Octavia Spencer, whose performance was undeniably sensational. Honestly, I was surprised the movie was so great. Seriously, it was really good. Did you see it? You should. The movie tells the stories of the lives of colored maids in the South of the 1960s, during the Civil Rights movement. From this description alone, I slightly expected some pro-colored people/anti-racism rant, arguing that white people are evil and colored people are victims. Of course, there were several cruel whites in that time, like Hilly, but there were also several kind ones, like Celia Foote. Also, colored people were victims at that time, but they didn't brag about it. I'm going to stop right there before I go into what-may-sound-like a racist speech. I am not racist. (It's almost scary how afraid people are of being called that, isn't it?) Anyway, The Help is a drama you should definitely watch.

The Artist - I can't even explain how much I love this film. (And I haven't even seen it yet.) Therefore, you can probably assume how thrilled I was to hear its name mentioned as a winner three times: once for Best Original Score (delightful), Best Actor in a Comedy/Musical (charming), and Best Comedy (in your face Bridesmaids). Can't I revel a little in the fact that Bridesmaids won nothing? Well, this is about The Artist, so I won't do it here. As for the black-and-white sure-masterpiece, I am so glad that the Cannes-darling is getting all this acclaim. It most certainly deserves it! Now, even though I haven't actually watched it yet, I am positive that it will be incredible. I won't even mention what-ifs because, well, it's silly to do so. Jean Dujardin is proof enough that the movie is sure to be amazing. Did I mention the trailer made me cry?

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie - Otherwise known as Hollywood's most in-love couple. Their adorable closeness, captured on camera a few times, was so heartwarming to witness. You just cannot fake love like that. As for those on Jennifer Aniston's team, you all can stuff a sock in your mouth because these two are incredibly romantic and sweet. Plus, it's been about eight years since Jennifer legally left the picture, so it's getting pathetic. Don't deny it. I see it plastered on magazines everyday, titles like "Brad was the only one for Jen". Enough is enough already. Anyway, Brad and Angelina are both gorgeous and adorable.

No.

Marilyn Monroe - The closest thing to Marilyn Monroe in that room was Sidney Poitier, who starred in The Defiant Ones with Tony Curtis, who starred in Some Like It Hot with the actress. There might have been something closer, but the farthest from her was Michelle Williams, who portrayed her in My Week with Marilyn. Really, who on earth casted her to play the most recognizably beautiful actress in the history of Hollywood? I mean, really, they look absolutely nothing alike. I can't italicize my emphasis any further. The only thing they have in common is their gender. Marilyn Monroe was voluptuous, sultry, and absolutely stunning; from her sexy voice to her bouncy, curvy walk. Michelle Williams has a wide face, much like that of someone saying cheese in a sort of "duh" manner, and an awkward, stumpy body. Again, nothing like Marilyn Monroe. And the fact that she's getting esteem for her performance, including the award for Best Actress in a Comedy/Musical, is just insulting. To Marilyn and true admirers of the great actress. Well, she was beautiful at least. Beating Charlize Theron for her role as a nasty, ex-prom queen bitch in Young Adult was yet another awful factor of Michelle Williams's win. It just makes me want to bite my fingers. (And Best Comedy? Not too sure about that label.)

The Iron Lady - I'm referring to Meryl Streep herself, for she is the iron lady. In all honesty, I wasn't too confident that she would win this award, while Viola Davis was receiving more acclaim and titles like "front-runner". But she secured her timeless title as greatest actress of our modern era. That's right, the absolute greatest of them all. Transforming herself into one of Britain's most well-known Prime Ministers, Margaret Thatcher in case you weren't aware, was a true feat of immense talent. Pulling it off successfully, as an American actress, is all the more impressive. I'm sure even Britain is proud of her portrayal of their iron lady. (I can't say for sure, it's simply a guess.) While I enjoyed The Help (seriously, watch it), and Viola Davis as well, her performance was not all that special. It was certainly good and all, just not Oscar-great, like Meryl Streep. That sounded so passive and apologetic. Let me try something a bit more assertive and factual. Viola Davis was good, Meryl Streep was much better.

Animations - Rather a disappointment this year. No Pixar films? Come on.

The Greats - Two legendary and outstanding directors/writers won a Globe this year: Martin Scorsese for Hugo as Best Director and Woody Allen for Midnight in Paris for Best Screenplay. I was very pleased to hear Woody Allen's name announced, rather than that Sorkin bastard, because his brilliant creation was so wonderful. Speaking of which, I believe it's time to rematch that beauty. As for Scorsese, he is something. At his age, making movies as if he were still in his Goodfellas prime, almost as good as those movies too, is truly an astounding feat. I applaud him uproariously. It's satisfying to know that such wonderful artists can still be recognized for their evident genius and creativity. Very satisfying, indeed.

Gerard Butler - I'd just like to mention his embarrassing attempt at making the crowd laugh with a joke I can't even remember. Hilarious.

Fashion disasters - Seriously? How hard is it to pick out a nice-looking dress?

George Clooney - While I expected this, I was hoping for Brad Pitt to get it. Even though I haven't watched Moneyball yet, I'm more leaning towards him because he never got one before. I was just as shocked as you were. Either him or newcomer Michael Fassbender, whom I enjoyed very much in X-Men: First Class and a few years back in Inglourious Basterds. Plus I hear he was naked in Shame? Interesting. Earlier in the year, I anticipated Leonardo DiCaprio to win everything, as portraying J. Edgar Hoover should have been a sure thing in awards season. Apparently not. Here's hoping for his performance in The Great Gatsby.

I believe that is all worth mentioning at the Golden Globes.