Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Amusingly Depserate Comment

Good morning everyone. I say "good morning" with only the intention of a standard greeting, not to suggest that this is a pleasant morning. In fact, it's not going so great in any way. It appears that I have done a bit too much of a certain activity last night, that is in no way sexual. More in the lines of consumption. I'd prefer not to say it straightforward. To make this aching even worse, I am surrounded by illness, meaning that there are a swarm of sickly people with enormously irritating coughs. And my trapezius muscle hurts, which is the diamond-shape part just below the neck. Once again, not such a "good" morning. At the moment, I am in the "office" with all my work done weeks in advanced, being the diligent busy-body that I am, and am roaming aimlessly through IMDb discussion boards. More than two weeks after its final demise, I am still completely focused on Desperate Housewives, resulting to rewatching previous, better seasons. Perhaps to revitalize my past affection for the show, to erase what was an awful eighth season from my mind? Perhaps, indeed. Anyway, I'd like to make this a quick post, just to share a momentary thought of amusement. As I was searching through the discussion boards for Desperate Housewives, I have uncovered a particularly hilarious, satiric comment on a post titled "Can't Wait for Season 9!" I'm not sure if I am eprmitted to post a comment from another person without their permission, but as long as I attribute the comment to them, it should be fine.
"Cherry has Season 9 all planned out:

We will be treated to another time jump, thus bringing the action of the series to 2003. Cherry explains that the show has always been existing in the '90s, not the new millenium, so this time jump will take us to 2003, although there will be some inexplicable references to the Obama Administration, FaceBook, Twitter, and the 2009 financial crisis. Halfway through the season, Cherry will release an official statement that the show is now taking place in 2013, even though we've had no indication of that on the series.

Lynette and Tom will fight a lot. This will be followed by a really incredible separation storyline, then a reconciliation when Lynette promises to be less negative, followed by a "Will Tom cheat on Lynette?" storyline before the two characters reconcile at the end of the season.

Katherine will be rejoining the cast. Having renounced her lesbianism, she will become a nun (as this is her lifelong dream) before having a sex-change operation and turning into a homosexual man. Then she'll start running a bowling alley, become obsessed with the guy who makes the hot dogs and start stalking him, before she decides she is actually into bestiality and leaves town with her new love interest, a goat.

Andrew will become even more of a gay stereotype. Cherry has said he plans to have Andrew start a Bette Midler/Liza Minelli fan club while also hanging around gym saunas and cruising for sex. Shawn Pyfrom has been asked to really exaggerate his effeminate expressions and change his voice to a lisp so that he can fit in better with such characters as Lee. Cherry says he's "Trying to create a positive image of gay people on television." At the end of the season, Andrew will die of AIDS.

Enjoying her new role in the senate, Bree will accidentally spill some Coca-Cola on the carpet in a colleague's office. For the entire season, we will watch her scheme and manipulate to try and avoid taking responsibility or spilling the soda, but at the end of the season, President Obama will confess that he actually spilled the soda and the case, which has now gone to trial, will be completely dropped.

Penny will be celebrating her 21st birthday in the first episode of the season. In the middle of the season, she will celebrate her 8th birthday. Meanwhile, MJ will face a mid-life crisis as he slides deeper and deeper into his '40s. He will be celebrating his 12th birthday in Season 10.

Vanessa Williams will be a continuing cast member. Cherry has such surprising storylines planned as her throwing a block party and acting like a complete bitch. He also has some really hysterical bits of comedy lined up. For instance, her new husband will declare that he is completely ready to have a baby, watch a birthing video, and faint. Cherry is proud of the fact that this little piece of comedy gold has never been done on any other series in history.

Gabby will act like a huge bitch before revealing that she's really a sensitive and good person. This will occur in every single episode of the 9th season. And the 10th.

A new family will move onto the lane with a mysterious secret. At the end of the season, it will be revealed that the family are fugitives from justice as they once forgot to pay their bill at a Denny's and have been living in seclusion and shame ever since.

Genius composer Steve Jablonsky has been instructed to really crank up the comedic music during the funny scenes as well as the dramatic music during the sad scenes. Cherry has stated, "We will have no silence on the show anymore. Every second will be filled by music." The viewer can eagerly await a lot more "Bah BAH Bah BAH Bum BUMP Bum BUMP" music during scenes where Susan accidentally locks herself in the garage and spills paint all over the floor.

That's about all the ideas Cherry has talked about at this point, but I'm eagerly awaiting the next season, that's for sure!"

That post was written by Tom_Atkins_Moustache, and it is absolutely brilliant, if I may say. I've included a link to his IMDb porfile page, as well as to the comment from its original source.

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