Saturday, May 22, 2010


Kick-Ass, from the trailer I saw, looked awesome from the get-go. When I finally watched the movie, not only was it awesome, as I expected, it was fucking amazing. I always thought superhero movies, like Fantastic Four and X-Men, were continuously played out; you never were surprised by the outcome. And their costumes were always conveniently created/designed. Also, the villains goal was never realistic or even respectable (freezing the world, mind-controlling citizens, etc.)

Dave Lizewski, a high school student who is considered a dork or nerd in today's world, wants to change his life into something where he can save the world. This is hilarious because the writers meant for the audience respond in laughter. (Real superhero movies, however, do not mean to tickle your funny bone) Dave buys a ridiculous costume online, and is now known as Kick-Ass. Now, he pretty much walks around in public wearing that, looking for lost pets. Soon after, he encounters his first crime, a car theft, and attempts to apprehend the delinquents. This results in an almost broken neck. This doesn't stop him, so he tries again, and succeeds, for he fights with some street hooligans, which is recorded by some people and he is now a famous superhero.

We now cut to Damon Macready, played by Nicholas Cage, and his daughter, Mindy, shooting each other, with vests on, though. We soon learn that they are both experts at all weapons and fighting bad guys. Their overall goal is to kill Frank D'Amico, played by Mark Strong. D'Amico is the one who put Macready in prison, causing his wife to overdose and die. All the father-daughter duo want is revenge. They are later known as Big Daddy and Hit-Girl, and their costumes are truly awesome. (Big Daddy's is as great as Christian Bale's, maybe better)

After many many fight sequences and mass murders, Big Daddy and Hit-Girl work with Kick-Ass to kill D'Amico. Unfortunately, D'Amico's son, Chris, wants to help his father capture Kick-Ass, so the he becomes a superhero, Red Mist.

Red Mist places the trio in a trap, catching Big Daddy and Kick-Ass. Then, live on television and the Internet, D'Amico's goons torture the two.

Next, in comes the assumed-dead Hit-Girl. She is heavily armed and dangerous, and the scene in which she eliminates all the bad guys in the dark is absolutely remarkable. Sadly, Big Daddy passes when he's burned by a thug.

Now, Hit-Girl, along with Kick-Ass, enter D'Amico's apartment for the final showdown. This involves a series of rapid shootings, by Hit-Girl, who kills almost everyone there. Then, when Hit-Girl is out of ammo, Kick-Ass flies in (literally) on a jet pack loaded with a chain machine gun. This scene is definitely fucking tremendous, when he shoots all the windows down and bad guys in slow-motion. Cool cool stuff. When, D'Amico apprehends Hit-Girl, however, and is about to end her life, Kick-Ass waltzes in with a bazooka and blows the dastardly foe away, obliterating him.

So, to sum up, this was a fucking outstanding movie, filled with senselessly funny humor and awesome fight scenes. It's like a mix of Quentin Tarantino, Sin City, and some superhero flair.

Chloe Moretz, who plays Hit-Girl, is adorable and extremely mature. (She's the first 13-year-old I heard say 'cock'!) The breakout star, Aaron Johnson, who plays Kick-Ass, is very promising and I see a decent career of acting in his future. Mark Strong is fucking astounding and funny, and I love his work in previous movies, therefore I love him here even more. The only thing I would consider cutting out of here is Christopher Mintz-Plasse, who plays Red Mist, because he is unattractive, bad actor, and sounds like he's still going through intense puberty.

I give this an 88/100. It's super-ultra-mega-monster awesomely fucking terrific.

(P.S. I cursed more here because Chloe Moretz is now my role-model:D)

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